Before I start writing this article, I just want to let you all know, I didn’t write this alone! My boyfriend came up with this idea and then also helped me with some of the main points I’m making. So, don’t thank me, thank him. Now, on with the post!♥️✨
Being alive on earth is tough. I think we can all agree that each of us have face at least some hardship whilst existing on this earth. But, one of the most constant issues both males and females face is the issue of double standards.
The Cambridge English Dictionary defines double standard as “a rule or standard of good behaviour that, unfairly, some people are expected to follow or achieve but other people are not“.
Whether you want to admit it or not, every single one of us has faced a double standard. The only way for these ridiculous ideals to end is by calling them out and explaining why they are wrong. So, here I am for you today, calling out all these standards. I hope you will join me in explaining why they are wrong, calling them out, and even adding double standards which you or someone you know has faced.
- When women have sex, they’re classified as “whores” or “sluts”, but when men do it they’re seen as “players” and it’s seen as a positive.
Possibly one of the most well known double standards, dating back to the beginning of time. It most likely started because of religious beliefs of pre-marital sex and all that jazz, but I will never understand exactly why men could get away with it but women were scrutinised. It makes no sense, it shouldn’t happen, as long as it’s consensual then it’s fine. I’m a strong advocate for sex positivity – this is a very controversial thing, hence why I am here to ensure you know that it’s okay!
2. Boys can’t cry or talk about their feelings – whilst girls are encouraged to do so.
Whilst it’s always hard to reach out when you are struggling with your mental health, toxic masculinity is the reason many men struggle to say they are struggling. Due to unnecessary ideals of what it takes to be a ‘real man’, many guys feel like they cannot say how they really feel as they’d be considered weak, which is completely untrue. A brand which I have watched grow from simply an idea on an Instagram account to their extreme popularity now is Boys Get Sad Too. Its aim is to raise awareness and to start the conversation about men’s mental health by selling thought provoking products.
3. Girls can show affection and be tactile to their friends, but when guys do it they get ridiculed and called “gay”
Yet another toxic masculinity ideal which is crazy. If you appreciate your friends, you should let them know! No matter your gender, show appreciation for those you love! And, if you are gay, it’s not a bad thing! Anyone who says it is, they’re wrong and uneducated and pay them no mind.
4. Boys can hit a girl – when play fighting – and they’ll be known as a “woman abuser”, but when girls are abusive to their boyfriends, no-one seems to really care.
A large amount of double standards which men face stem from toxic masculinity and the whole idea that “boys don’t cry”. This one irks me. Boys and girls can both get abused. They’re not weak because it happens, it’s a horrific thing to happen, no matter who you are, and if someone is brave enough to speak up about it, you should support them, not scrutinise or attack. They’ve been through enough, give them the respect that the monster who hurt them didn’t.
5. When a boy dates a girl in the year above, he’s “pulling”, but if she’s in the year below, it’s creepy.
As long as it’s consensual and they are both of age then it’s fine, and if not, they do nothing sexual until they are over 16. It’s a strange one and it only really happens in secondary schools. The best thing to do is to simply ignore them, they’re annoying kids who are bored.
6. Men don’t get raped, and if they do, they get ridiculed.
There are (completely incorrect) beliefs that men should be strong enough to fight their rapist off. It’s insane and it’s similar to the belief that guys can’t get abused. Just stop it. If someone has been sexually abused, support, don’t shame, it is really that simple.
7. If a woman dates someone younger than her, than he’s a “boy toy”, but if the man is older, than she’s a “gold digger”
Example ages: 25 and 60. The woman will always get scrutinised when in a relationship with an age gap. Yet again, as long as it’s consensual and healthy, there is no point in being hateful. If you’re happy with them, and it’s a legal age gap, go for it!!
8. Teacher student relationships get covered differently in the media, depending on what gender the teacher is.
If it is a female teacher, then the victim is meant to be considered “lucky” as it is a common sexual fantasy, whilst if it is a male teacher then the victim is presented as being manipulated and abused (which is the truth). Media coverage will say things like “boy, 15, slept with teacher, 25″ when the teacher is a woman, but if the teacher is a male they will say “girl, 15, manipulated into sleeping with teacher, 25″. It’s messed up, and both genders of teachers should be called out for being manipulative and abusing their power.
9. Tomboys are way more acceptable than tomgirls
From clothes to the way they’re able to act and also the things they do/play with, women are far more accepted if they’re a little bit more ‘masculine’. If anything, in the current day, it’s encouraged. STEM subjects now all try their hardest to employ more women, using positive discrimination. However, if you are a male who is interested in more ‘feminine’ activities, then toxic masculinity comes into play and a boy is likely to be bullied for playing with Barbies and makeup.
10. Guys can talk about sex graphically, but people are disgusted when girls do it
There’s a specific bs list of expectations of women, and this one is just under “women aren’t funny”. It’s completely messed up, and it’s a double standard which perfectly circles back to my first point. Sex is such a heavily stigmatised thing, there are so many misconceptions which lead to people getting hurt and things like the fact that girls shouldn’t speak about sex simply add to it.