TW// sexual assault, rape, suicidal thoughts, self harm, abuse, eating disorder
VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED
two years ago i experienced some of the toughest weeks i have ever faced. i have been very open about my experiences but it was so insanely tough, i am still very shocked i am here, albeit with bruises, scars and memories which may never fade.
since then, i have improved a lot. i am far more open about how i am feeling and i have finally put a definitive end to my self destructive nature, quitting the toxicity for good.
it’s been a long two years, but it’s safe to say i’m getting to the other side now.
i may hate my scars which will never heal, as they remind me of the times others had such a strong hold on me.
i may hate looking at my own reflection, never feeling satisfied with the way i look, making me feel inadequate and unworthy of all this love.
i may hate the fact my mind tries to convince me that the only way to ever stop feeling like this is to stop existing, despite knowing it’s untrue.
i may hate the fact i can never fully relax, always feeling wary and scared of others.
i may hate what i’ve done in the past, never feeling able to fully forgive myself for my actions.
i may hate all of these insecurities…
but that’s ok.
because i am so much stronger now, maybe not physically, but mentally i am wonder woman.
and soon you will be too.
i never believed others when they claimed
“this too shall pass.”
convincing myself they were just making it up, simply to make me feel better.
but all the darkest clouds are clearing now.
it may be small, but it can be a persistent one.
and i’m holding onto that hope
until the day i die.