As lockdown is set to end really soon and it’s the summer holidays, I thought it would be nice to share what I’ve been planning! I have been planning some of these since March 2020, and maybe it will give you inspiration as to what you should do when lockdown is over! I know not all of these are currently plausible, but I do have lots of plans for the future and I hope that one day I can say I have completed all of these with my friends and family 🙂
Aesthetic picnics, I love picnics, I just think they are so gorgeous and romantic, making me feel like I’m right out of a Jane Austen novel or something! I want to have many different types, including: formal, with a posh dress code and champagne flutes, dark academia, with vintage books and dark colours with fountain pens, cottage core with floral prints and wildflowers, homemade bread and toadstool houses for fairies and, finally, artistic indie with watercolours, mugs instead of glasses and 70s music.
Poker night. I may be stealing this idea off of my boyfriend, but I’m sure he won’t mind! I want to have a proper poker night, with formal dress, cocktails and a real mock Las Vegas style setting
Meeting friends I haven’t seen in a while. This I have already started doing. It’s been so lovely to see those who I have been so close with and getting the chance to have a proper catch up!
Wine and whine. yet another idea I may have stolen off a friend, and we may need to replace the wine with shlur… But, those who know me will know I am a painful gossip, and I’ve wanted to do this for so long!! Hopefully I’ll have lots of time to do that this summer!
Tattoo designs. I really want to get tattoos once I turn 18, but in order to prep for them, I want to get temporary tattoos to ensure I want them. Luckily, Inkbox lets you do this! I’d love to have a Just Tattoo of Us style hangout with my mates, just giving each other tattoos while the other person doesn’t know what they’re getting.
House party. Since watching all the naughties American movies, I’ve really wanted a proper house party, with red solo cups, beer pong and loud music! Hopefully someday, I’ll actually be able to throw one!
Museums/art galleries. My god, how I’ve missed them!! Hopefully I’ll be able to go to and explore all of London’s great artistic hotspots and things really soon♥️
Costume party. Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will know how much I love halloween. My all time favourite part of Halloween has got to be the costumes! That’s the exact reason why I desperately want to have a costume party – plus I have so many costume ideas and it’s quite simply just mean to make me only wear them once every year.
Swimming with friends. I love spending time with my friends, and I love swimming, so what better then to mush them both together?! I don’t know where we’d go but I think a water park would be loads of fun and a really great day out for all of us.
A day trip to France! Now, out of all of the items on this list, this one is most certainly the most “out there” one, but I used to do this with my family as a child, and I long to do it again. I think it would be so fun to do and the possibilities are endless! Maybe one day… when we don’t have to quarantine or anything…
I know this is only ten, but I have so many more ideas, and I’m sure that you do too! Let’s all stay safe but also have a lot of fun – we definitely deserve it!!
two years ago i experienced some of the toughest weeks i have ever faced. i have been very open about my experiences but it was so insanely tough, i am still very shocked i am here, albeit with bruises, scars and memories which may never fade.
since then, i have improved a lot. i am far more open about how i am feeling and i have finally put a definitive end to my self destructive nature, quitting the toxicity for good.
it’s been a long two years, but it’s safe to say i’m getting to the other side now.
i may hate my scars which will never heal, as they remind me of the times others had such a strong hold on me.
i may hate looking at my own reflection, never feeling satisfied with the way i look, making me feel inadequate and unworthy of all this love.
i may hate the fact my mind tries to convince me that the only way to ever stop feeling like this is to stop existing, despite knowing it’s untrue.
i may hate the fact i can never fully relax, always feeling wary and scared of others.
i may hate what i’ve done in the past, never feeling able to fully forgive myself for my actions.
i may hate all of these insecurities…
but that’s ok.
because i am so much stronger now, maybe not physically, but mentally i am wonder woman.
and soon you will be too.
because,
even though
i never believed others when they claimed
“this too shall pass.”
convincing myself they were just making it up, simply to make me feel better.
As an early birthday surprise for my Mum, my Dad and I booked an afternoon tea experience at The Shard. My brother and I had previously been for afternoon tea with our grandparents, but it was my parents first ever time going, and so it was a very exciting experience for all of us – especially considering this was the first time in over a year we’d been to London (due to lockdown). The weather was gorgeous, the views were stunning, and it was overall simply a lovely day.
OOTD: Simplistic, but somewhat sophisticated, from BOOHOO.
We set off in the morning by train (yet another refreshing experience), and went on a long walk around Carnaby Street, perusing Hamley’s, the Disney Store and so many more! After this, we were all pretty tired, but ready and raring for our afternoon tea.
My inner Star Wars fan FREAKING OUT over this and the whole D350 range on the first floor of the Disney Store.
After a few hours, we hopped on the tube and had a walk around Borough Market – probably not the best idea when I’m hungry!!
Then it was time for our afternoon tea.
We got our bags checked and went through the metal detector, and then we were put in the lift! We were on floor 31, and it went up so incredibly fast, it made gravity slightly distorted afterwards, but it felt like a theme park ride of sorts so I wasn’t one to complain.
The view from where we were sat…😍
We settled ourselves down, the waiter formally introduced himself – which was the most extra but brilliant thing I’ve ever witnessed.
The whole tea was Peter Pan themed and the amount of thought which was put into the meal was honestly extraordinary.
‘Never Grow Up Punch’
This drink was so gorgeously fruity without being overpoweringly sickly sweet. I loved all of this, even the colour – it’s such a divine pink and I was in love. It accompanied the food perfectly also.
As aforementioned, this meal was all Peter Pan Themed, and not one bit disappointed! Above, you can even see that the plates payed homage to the books. The part which really took my breath away though were the food stands. They came in these gorgeous pirate ships, which did something very special… [I’m not going to spoil it for you though, in case you wish to go yourself☺️]
I’m going to go through each thing I had to eat and give you my honest opinion on each. Please bear in mind my tastes are most likely quite different from yours, and so everything I say should be taken as word from a fussy 16 year old.
The pirate ship it all came on ❤
Baked Pig – it was a sausage roll. Now, I’m not the biggest fan of sausage rolls, but this one was actually super yummy! The pastry was perfectly crispy and light and the sausage was perfect – not too heavy which was pleasant as I didn’t feel like I was having a massive meal
An Enormous Mushroom Chimney – You don’t understand how confused I was when I got this chimney and there was no mushrooms at all! But, anyway, I never knew bread could taste this good! Now I am a massive fan of bread, but this was so light and fluffy, but somehow full of flavour, honestly a complete 10/10
“Codfish” Captain Hook – Yet again, I’m not the biggest fan of fish. But, this fish was so yummy! I swear, I do not know how they made me enjoy this so much, but it was very impressive and tasty. Plus, the fact it had the captain’s hook at the top was such an adorable feature I loved
The Lost Boys – If you haven’t already worked it out, I’m not the biggest fan of meat. But this sandwich had bacon and chicken in it, but it was so lovely. The bread was so fluffy and it complimented the sandwich extremely well and I couldn’t help but feel I deserved another!
Little Bird – Truth be told, I don’t know just how comfortable I felt about the fact they called the egg sandwich ‘little bird’, but that may just be me. I do not like egg mayo, so I feel I’m not going to say this was the best. It was okay, but I really just didn’t like the taste of it. I know my parents liked it though – I’m pretty sure that’s because their palettes are more refined than my own.
Peter’s Secret Never Tree Entrance – This was the richest thing I’ve eaten in a long time! I made the mistake of eating the little bit of chocolate covered in coco powder first and I swear I thought I was going to have to have on my obituary that I died from “death by chocolate”! Nonetheless, if you like chocolate and jam, you’ll love this. My Mum and brother loved it, but I wasn’t the biggest fan. I am glad I tried it though!
Hook’s Perish Cake – Okay, I hate coconut. This had a lot of coconut. I feel like that says all you need to know.
Tick-Tock the Crocodile – I was honestly very confused by this… it had the consistency of jelly, but it tasted a bit like jam… As bamboozled as this made me, I quite liked it, and the little gummy crocodile was super fun to eat!
Tinker Bell – This little biscuit was so simplistic but it worked so well! It also looked so cute and it really just melted in my mouth – yum!
Scones
These scones were baked to perfection! They were so nice and warm and the clotted cream and jam just made it 😙🤌 perfection!
Final Thoughts
It was a lovely day! At the end of it, I went to China Town and we got some dumplings for the next day. It was a great time and I’m so blessed that I got to share it with my amazing family♥️
Before I start writing this article, I just want to let you all know, I didn’t write this alone! My boyfriend came up with this idea and then also helped me with some of the main points I’m making. So, don’t thank me, thank him. Now, on with the post!♥️✨
Being alive on earth is tough. I think we can all agree that each of us have face at least some hardship whilst existing on this earth. But, one of the most constant issues both males and females face is the issue of double standards.
The Cambridge English Dictionary defines double standard as “a rule or standard of good behaviour that, unfairly, some people are expected to follow or achieve but other people are not“.
Whether you want to admit it or not, every single one of us has faced a double standard. The only way for these ridiculous ideals to end is by calling them out and explaining why they are wrong. So, here I am for you today, calling out all these standards. I hope you will join me in explaining why they are wrong, calling them out, and even adding double standards which you or someone you know has faced.
When women have sex, they’re classified as “whores” or “sluts”, but when men do it they’re seen as “players” and it’s seen as a positive.
Possibly one of the most well known double standards, dating back to the beginning of time. It most likely started because of religious beliefs of pre-marital sex and all that jazz, but I will never understand exactly why men could get away with it but women were scrutinised. It makes no sense, it shouldn’t happen, as long as it’s consensual then it’s fine. I’m a strong advocate for sex positivity – this is a very controversial thing, hence why I am here to ensure you know that it’s okay!
2. Boys can’t cry or talk about their feelings – whilst girls are encouraged to do so.
Whilst it’s always hard to reach out when you are struggling with your mental health, toxic masculinity is the reason many men struggle to say they are struggling. Due to unnecessary ideals of what it takes to be a ‘real man’, many guys feel like they cannot say how they really feel as they’d be considered weak, which is completely untrue. A brand which I have watched grow from simply an idea on an Instagram account to their extreme popularity now is Boys Get Sad Too. Its aim is to raise awareness and to start the conversation about men’s mental health by selling thought provoking products.
3. Girls can show affection and be tactile to their friends, but when guys do it they get ridiculed and called “gay”
Yet another toxic masculinity ideal which is crazy. If you appreciate your friends, you should let them know! No matter your gender, show appreciation for those you love! And, if you are gay, it’s not a bad thing! Anyone who says it is, they’re wrong and uneducated and pay them no mind.
4. Boys can hit a girl – when play fighting – and they’ll be known as a “woman abuser”, but when girls are abusive to their boyfriends, no-one seems to really care.
A large amount of double standards which men face stem from toxic masculinity and the whole idea that “boys don’t cry”. This one irks me. Boys and girls can both get abused. They’re not weak because it happens, it’s a horrific thing to happen, no matter who you are, and if someone is brave enough to speak up about it, you should support them, not scrutinise or attack. They’ve been through enough, give them the respect that the monster who hurt them didn’t.
5. When a boy dates a girl in the year above, he’s “pulling”, but if she’s in the year below, it’s creepy.
As long as it’s consensual and they are both of age then it’s fine, and if not, they do nothing sexual until they are over 16. It’s a strange one and it only really happens in secondary schools. The best thing to do is to simply ignore them, they’re annoying kids who are bored.
6. Men don’t get raped, and if they do, they get ridiculed.
There are (completely incorrect) beliefs that men should be strong enough to fight their rapist off. It’s insane and it’s similar to the belief that guys can’t get abused. Just stop it. If someone has been sexually abused, support, don’t shame, it is really that simple.
7. If a woman dates someone younger than her, than he’s a “boy toy”, but if the man is older, than she’s a “gold digger”
Example ages: 25 and 60. The woman will always get scrutinised when in a relationship with an age gap. Yet again, as long as it’s consensual and healthy, there is no point in being hateful. If you’re happy with them, and it’s a legal age gap, go for it!!
8. Teacher student relationships get covered differently in the media, depending on what gender the teacher is.
If it is a female teacher, then the victim is meant to be considered “lucky” as it is a common sexual fantasy, whilst if it is a male teacher then the victim is presented as being manipulated and abused (which is the truth). Media coverage will say things like “boy, 15, slept with teacher, 25″ when the teacher is a woman, but if the teacher is a male they will say “girl, 15, manipulated into sleeping with teacher, 25″. It’s messed up, and both genders of teachers should be called out for being manipulative and abusing their power.
9. Tomboys are way more acceptable than tomgirls
From clothes to the way they’re able to act and also the things they do/play with, women are far more accepted if they’re a little bit more ‘masculine’. If anything, in the current day, it’s encouraged. STEM subjects now all try their hardest to employ more women, using positive discrimination. However, if you are a male who is interested in more ‘feminine’ activities, then toxic masculinity comes into play and a boy is likely to be bullied for playing with Barbies and makeup.
10. Guys can talk about sex graphically, but people are disgusted when girls do it
There’s a specific bs list of expectations of women, and this one is just under “women aren’t funny”. It’s completely messed up, and it’s a double standard which perfectly circles back to my first point. Sex is such a heavily stigmatised thing, there are so many misconceptions which lead to people getting hurt and things like the fact that girls shouldn’t speak about sex simply add to it.
Since the music video came out in 2019, I have adored this dress…
I mean… just look at it!
I wanted to get this dress so badly, but it was pretty pricey, to be exact: $4,995.00 pricey.
So, I did what anyone with a passion for sewing and belief that I could be the next Coco Chanel or something, I went on the prowl to make my own Taylor Swift dress. And this… well this is how it went.
The hardest part was finding all of the parts. After two whole days of searching, I finally found everything I needed. If you want to make this dress, then just click on the photos and they’ll take you to the links!
Flowers from Amazon (£9.99)
Butterflies from Starboxcraft on Etsy (£3.60)
Skirt from Ebay (£8.98)
Swimsuit I’m using as a top from New Look (£9.00)
As you can see, it was all relatively affordable and I’m really happy with the quality of each of the products I bought.
After it all arrived (which took about a week or so), I got to work on sorting out how I was going to attach the flowers onto the skirt.
With the help of my Grandma, (thanks Nana!) we both pinned all of the flowers and butterflies where we felt they would go the best. This took us a bit of time, because we had to work out where the colours went best, but we were both really happy with the positioning of all the flowers and butterflies.
I love how all of the colours turned out! I chose these monarch butterflies because they are my favourite type of butterfly and, quite simply, I loved the variation of colours for the flowers.
Ready to sew!
Over the remainder of that evening, whilst on the phone to my boyfriend and whilst watching Netflix, I hand stitched each of the objects onto the skirt. This took some time, but I knew I couldn’t have used my sewing machine due to the delicacy of the fabric. I found it very relaxing, and I made sure that each of the threads matched the flowers exactly. This was a very subtle thing, but I felt it made all the difference, and meant the flowers stood out instead of their fastenings.
NOTE: Before pinning, all the flowers had little plastic parts which were the stigma (the centre of the flower which provides pollen). They had little holes at the bottom so you could attach a wire/”stem” to them, which meant that you could make a bouquet, or a flower crown. This was great, but I couldn’t sew them on! So, I had to remove them, and then sewing them as you would with buttons or sequins, making the thread the stigma instead. I found them to look even better like this, and I could make them as 3D as I wanted!
After I sewed all the flowers onto the dress, I was done! This project didn’t take me long at all. The reason it felt so long was because I had to wait for everything to arrive. Overall, if you have all the materials, you could do this in six hours – tops.
If I was to do this again, I think I would buy a petticoat as I feel that the skirt is not full enough, but that could just be personal opinion.
This is the final result, and I am honestly so happy with how it turned out!! I am now finding any excuse possible to wear it, and I don’t think you can blame me!!
the final result♥️
Please comment and let me know what you think, I was so proud of myself and I love hearing from you lovely lot. 🥰
Finally, we’re having the discussion I’ve been trying to start for years now, it’s just a shame that an innocent woman had to die in order for this to begin. I want to start by giving a disclaimer that this article will have strong language, talk about mature themes such as sexual assault and rape, and it’s just generally not suitable for younger audiences or people who get distressed when reading the topics, I will be bringing up. Your safety is the most important thing. I also want to say that I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone, I am simply here to explain what is going on and so are those I spoke to.
About a week after the discussion of women’s safety became extremely present on mainstream media, I knew I had to talk about it
What’s going on at the moment, how it’s affecting people, I speak about this so much, I decided to get more people to talk about it and include my input to the situation. However, I soon realised, I have done this sort of thing a lot. Some examples can be seen here, hereand here. Since I write about this so much, I decided to ✨spice things up✨ and I asked a favour from some of my friends.
I wrote up different questions in a questionnaire and I got them to answer them honestly, and I’ve put them all here!
To make this a fair test, I didn’t give them any of my input before or during them answering the questions, made each of the questions the same, and told them it would be totally confidential.
For certain answers I have received, I may crop or leave out/slightly edit some questions. Not the overall message, I’m just going to ensure they are not too long or reiterate similar things which have already been stated.
I asked seventeen different people, and I have changed their names to protect their identities. I just want to say a huge thank you to those who did this for me, it means so much and I am so grateful to know people as incredible as you guys, especially considering I don’t always speak to you all that frequently.
The sixteen people I have chosen are essentially the future. They are 16-17 year olds, we all went to the same secondary school and now all attend college/sixth form. I know this isn’t a diverse mix, but this doesn’t make what they say any less important. The lovely people who helped me are:
James, 17, male
Daniel, 17, male
Elizabeth, 16, female
Avis, 17
Bailey, 16
Andrew, 16, male
George, male
Teresa, 17, female
Jason, 17, male
Ryan, 17, male
Betty, 16, female
Amelia, 16, female
Jeffree, 17, male
Ana, 17, female
Brent, 16, male
Harper, 16, female
Now, after that extremely long introduction, here is the Q&A I had with those sixteen people ❤
Do you feel safe walking alone?
James – Yes
Daniel – I do for the most part. If it’s late and I’m on my own I feel a bit sketched out. Generally, I’m always cautious but I’m not scared.
Eliza – Not really, but I guess it would differ depending on the situation.
Avis – When I am with a group of people especially guy friends, I do feel safe but, when I am alone, I don’t always feel safe.
Bailey – No strong answer, as I don’t walk alone very much.
Andrew – Depends – usually on time and area.
Teresa – No
Jason – No
Ryan – I feel safe walking home by myself most of the time but not late at night
Betty – No
Amelia – No, especially not at night.
Jeffree – Yes
Ana – no, not at all
Harper – no I don’t feel safe when walking alone, especially at night
Brent – I don’t feel unsafe unless it is dark. [still wary though]
Do you worry about the safety of the women you care about?
James – I do
Daniel – Absolutely. I always worry about them
Eliza – I do yes
Avis –Definitely. When walking home from school or after hanging out with friends and having to go separate ways home I [think] I should probably walk my female friends all the way home just in case something happens. Which is horrible that I actually have to think about that.
Bailey – I do worry about them.
Andrew – Yes. It’s a scary place for women with creepy men catcalling and things.
George – yes
Teresa – yes
Jason – Yes
Ryan – I absolutely care about the safety of the women I care about.
Betty – yes
Amelia – Yes definitely
Jeffree – Of course
Ana – yes, a lot
Harper – I worry about pretty much any other women I know
Brent – yes
What do you think the government can do to ensure this gets better?
James – Spread more awareness about the subject as well as providing more in-depth information to young women and men about their safety.
Daniel – I think that there could be more foot police patrols around high-risk areas like alleys or secluded paths. But other than that, it comes down to people to not be pieces of shit.
Eliza – I don’t think it’s something that the government can fix. I also feel like a lot of the ideas that females would come up with, many men would feel are sexist.
Avis – Maybe if we can start trying to enforce this idea of “No means no” at schools earlier on things could change. We also need to get rid of this idea of “boys will be boys” and “she asked for it”. There are just so many toxic ideologies embedded into society from a young age.
Bailey – Rather than focusing everything on the female population, they should be finding a balance of resources, education and information for both women and men as to how they should be acting in situations such as these. And I honestly feel like the government need to be more open in discussions because they don’t seem to be as bothered with protecting women
Andrew – Maybe better lighting in the streets at night? And/or harsher sentences as a deterrent. If you rape someone and only get five years, that is an unfair sentence as the woman is affected for life
Teresa – Teach children better. Make sure people know the importance of consent, not only consent but enthusiastic consent and that anything less than yes means you should step away. Teach the importance of supporting people after going through that kind of experience.
Jason – I think they can and should put an emphasis on the safety and protection of women who are victims of assault of any kind, and they should try to keep an up-to-date list of people who have been reported for offences, and they should always talk to the parent of a young offender no matter what the offence.
Ryan – I believe more education is required and societal norms need to be shifted.
Amelia – I’m not particularly sure about what they can do because they can’t control the actions of each individual person.
Jeffree – I don’t believe the government can do anything.
Ana – Make it legal for women to carry some sort of self-defence.
Harper – they need to work harder to educate boys on the issue and make me of an effort to prosecute for rapists and assaulters cause too many get away freely
Brent – honestly believe there is very little that the government could do that would help the issue. I think that feeling on edge and cautious is a good thing as it means you know when to keep yourself safe but when it comes to feeling in danger the only real thing that could solve that is stopping the people that cause this feeling.
Do you think women should have to go to any more safety precautions?
James – I don’t think women should have to in the first place
Daniel – women shouldn’t have to worry at all no matter what they’re doing or what they wear but the unfortunate reality is that some people make that impossible
Eliza – I don’t think that it is fair that females have to more careful when walking around in their own neighbourhood than what men have to.
Avis – I mean, there’s already so many different “precautions” women have to go through, I hope there isn’t more.
Bailey – Unfortunately, for women to be able to stay safe alone, they may have to which is really sad.
Andrew – I don’t think women should have to because they should feel as safe as a man should. But during this time, it’s a good idea to take precautions such as rape alarms and things.
Teresa – Women are already doing enough, more than we should.
Jason – No, I don’t and I feel as If they take too many already. They should never have to feel as unsafe as they do, and women should be able to feel as if they can leave the house without fear of being assaulted.
Ryan – I believe they should go to a level they feel comfortable with doing but it is disgusting that they should have to take any precautions in the first place
Betty – They need to, but they shouldn’t have to
Amelia – Women already do everything that they can to keep themselves safe and recent events have proven that even that is apparently not enough. At this point the issue is not women not doing enough protect themselves, it’s the men (obvs not all) that feel that they are entitled to women’s bodies.
Jeffree – I feel they should have something to protect themselves if they are walking alone
Ana – Yes, they should be able to carry some sort of protection just in case.
Harper – I don’t think it should be a women’s responsibility to put in any more effort than they already do
Brent – If the woman feels unsafe it isn’t their fault. I think that only men can really change this.
What can men do when walking to make women feel safer?
James – I don’t know what men could do to make women feel safer while walking, since the same would apply to women and what they could do to make some men feel safer while walking
Daniel – keep their distance, cross the road, go on the phone or just straight up go another way if it’s late and the woman is clearly nervous. I always feel so bad walking close to women on the street because I can tell they’re on edge and it is just so sad how our society is like that.
Avis – Although this goes out to women as well, if they see a woman being harassed on the street or looking very uncomfortable while talking to someone, going over and calmly helping the woman away from the situation, like pretending to be a friend and asking where they’ve been or something like that, could really save a life.
Bailey – I think for men, they really need to give up the whole macho thing. Sometimes trying to be all big and strong and protective of women doesn’t always get the right results we need and instead only makes people see women as weak
Andrew – Tough situation, similar to being a teenage boy, smile and wave politely, carry on with your day seems to calm people down and helps make people happy
Teresa – Cross the road, call a friend. Or at least not get annoyed when we do things to protect ourselves if they won’t.
Jason – Men can cross the road, or call someone, or should attempt to get ahead of women so they can feel safer.
Ryan – Men can keep the eyes and thoughts to themselves not everyone is there for you talk to complete what you’re doing without disrupting others also if you’re continually going in the same directions as someone change your route, so they feel safer
Amelia – Walk female friends’ home if it’s dark or dusk, cross the street/don’t get near to a woman you don’t know when they’re walking alone, please don’t catcall
Jeffree – Protect them making them feel safer
Ana – If their friends with the women just walk them home, but if their a strange cross the road and walk on the other side or walk slowly so they’re not close to the women.
Harper – educating themselves is a big one, and standing up for girls if they notice something bad happening, calling out their mates if they say something like make a joke, and making efforts to look unthreatening when walking near a girl, or like crossing the road or something
Brent – try to make sure you aren’t walking behind a woman. if you are then cross over to the other side of the road. or if this isn’t possible stop for a while to make good distance between you.
What are your thoughts on changing the curriculum in order to try avoiding these issues?
James – More information on the subject to educate men and women about their safety and ways to know when a situation could pose threat
Daniel – 100% schools should teach the subject just like they teach anything else. Don’t avoid the subject! People should learn how to behave.
Eliza – I think that during younger teenage years such as year 7 to 11 could have a topic about sexual crime would help to educate young people about the world that we live in and how we can avoid incidents
Avis – should be introduced taught about “no means no” and issues around it but maybe said in a more positive-reinforced setting and sprinkling the teaching of these kind attitudes throughout multiple lessons so it becomes the normal for the children?
Bailey – I think everyone needs to be educated in these types of topics. Because past generations were never opening about these types of things it’s left our generation to speak up about it and make changes so that we won’t have to see this again in the future
Andrew – Great idea, ensure consent is not “just a box ticking exercise”, it needs to be something important.
Teresa – I completely agree the curriculum should be changed. The argument that young people shouldn’t have sex and so shouldn’t be taught about those things is stupid. People will have sex at any age, and no one can stop them, they should just know the importance of consent and safety. And it’s not like when we get older the teachings around it changes.
Jason – We should change the curriculum, so consent and sexual assault is more important than it already is.
Ryan – I believe curriculum particularly in younger education needs drastic changes. The first years of education the focus should be upon behaving as any decent person should
Betty – I think they should change it to better educate girls and boys about the reality of the world
Amelia – I think that schools should educate students more on these issues because it’s a very real and relevant problem.
Jeffree – something needs to change for people to feel safe
Ana – They could spend more time explaining it and showing documentaries.
Harper – I think they need to change the curriculum, education kids from a young age will help engrave it in their minds that this stuff is not okay
Brent – I think it is extremely important that schools educate us better on these issues.
What about false conviction rates? Fake rape claims? How do we avoid these miscarriages of justice?
James – I believe there are many women and men that will use fake rape claims to get what they want in selective situations; I believe the only way to ensure the avoidance of such claims would be by intensive investigation on both parties to understand the exact situation that took place
Daniel – The amount of fake rape claims is tiny in comparison to actual rape claims or rape that never goes reported. I think people who make fake rape claims, male or female, should be punished but it is by no means reason to Besmirch someone else’s claim.
Avis – Although it’s a very small percentage compared to true convictions, it is still a big issue and one used to put down women who have been raped so that the rapists get off easy. I have no idea what can be done of this issue, but I hope we can find one soon.
Bailey – I have a specific thing to say about false accusations and claims and it’s tied with how, despite things are now being talked about, stigma is still around and there’s now the romanticisation of [these] serious concepts which makes it incredibly difficult to gain the right balance
Andrew – It’s hard to prove without evidence, for both sides, the only way is DNA and witnesses. False convictions happen less often than rape cases being ignored, but you cannot always instantly believe women because it could ruin a man’s life, but you can’t believe the man as that could ruin the life of the woman. I don’t know what to do.
Jason – I am aware that it is something that happens. I feel like these should be made aware of.
Ryan – There are already laws in place for such things if it’s clear that the accusation is made up, prosecution for deformation of character and filing a false police report should take place but more emphasis on believing the accused more methods should really be placed into preventing rape and femicides than preventing a smaller issue crime. If those two can be resolved I am sure the fake accusations would be more clear
Betty – people should be prosecuted for fake claims
Amelia – This is a difficult question because you get caught up between victim blaming and “innocent until proven guilty” and protecting the public. In certain cases where evidence is lacking, proving/disproving cases can be difficult. I don’t know how this issue can be overcome.
Jeffree – feel if someone files a false rape claim they should get the same punishment as what the falsely convicted [would have] due to them ruining their lives.
Brent – there is very little that can be done to prevent them without causing controversy over the fact that the rape claim could be true.
Do you think that tea video helps? What else could we do?
for reference, this is the videoI am talking about:
James – it touches on the subject in a very joking manner, it would make more of a difference if it was presented in a very serious tone as well as [providing] information about the consequences of their actions
Daniel – it really is not serious. If you’re trying to teach kids something important, teach it to them seriously. Consent is such an important topic.
Eliza – Although it has stuck in a lot of people’s heads after seeing it, of those people a lot have clowned that video thinking it is all just a joke.
Avis – I believe it set out with the right idea, it slowly has become more of a joke than a video educating young people on a serious issue.
Bailey – It has a meaning but if people are going to be anything like us, they won’t take it seriously
Andrew – The tea video is a good illustration, but kids look at it and don’t see the underlying message. At the ages of 10-14 it could help, but above then, it won’t help at all and could be detrimental.
Teresa – The tea video is awful. It is a joke in schools, and it takes away from the incredibly important subject. We should not be making jokes around the importance of this teaching. We should teach it in a way that doesn’t shy away from the message, regardless of the age.
Jason – I do not think that the tea video helps at all because in schools it is just a joke, and it needs to be addressed more seriously.
Ryan – The tea video is awful it is not specific enough it euphemises a topic of high importance the point must be clear of the severity and the unforgivable nature of the crime. Greater sex education is required perhaps at a younger age particularly about sexual assault harassment and rape and the clear definitions of what they are as many young impressionable people may not have been aware that they have been taken advantage of
Betty – I think there needs to be more open and more frequent conversations and demonstrations about it for everyone
Harper – the tea video is confusing, especially to younger kids and makes it seem too much like a fun quirky little thing when it’s a serious issue, when they can show us scary videos for things like road safety but not rape you can tell there’s an issue. they need both hard-hitting videos and proper education on the topic, not some funny little YouTube video that they just ignore
Brent – While it is useful for getting the message across and is a national thing that everyone understands and remembers, it turns the issue into a joke.
What do you think about the hashtag not all men?
James – I agree as I know that a lot of men are very against any of these actions
Daniel – clearly not all men harass or rape, but the fact still remains that any man can be intimidating. Even I could be considered intimidating, so I know I need to keep that in mind.
Eliza – I believe that it is correct. Not all men would mistreat women like some do however, because of the small amount that do, women are led to believe that all men are the same. Which in my opinion isn’t right?
Avis –I think all its doing is drowning out the women and the men who are talking about issues involving horrible men.
Bailey – I understand that not all men fit under the categories but the number of men who are involved is just too much and has become a sign of how toxic it is
Andrew – It’s factually correct, but equally, if that leads to a woman trusting all men and end up having negative experience with them, this will be detrimental in the long run
George– it’s very true
Teresa – Yes, it isn’t all men, but it’s enough men and I believe that the men who say “it’s not all men” are the ones most likely to be misogynistic or have the ability to sexually assault as they wouldn’t feel the need to disagree if they weren’t insecure about their actions or thoughts towards women.
Jason – I understand that it isn’t All men, but the men and women who use it tend to be aggressive and seem to be part of the reason why the hate crimes exist. But I would like for the message to be given how it isn’t all men. Some look out for women, and they also want to protect those they care about.
Ryan – I think the hashtag not all men is stupid, shifting the conversation into a direction it doesn’t need to take in the first place it shows how little the majority of men care. they only begin to care when it harms their reputation. There is a distinct lack of empathy and lack of will to do what is right and the conversation must remain at the focal point of the problem preventing future generations from suffering.
Betty – I think it’s a fair point to make but it’s being overused and not always helping
Amelia – Obviously not all men are like this. We know that. The issue is that it’s ENOUGH men that it’s a serious problem. The problem is that we don’t know WHICH men and therefore feel a degree of uncertainty and fear around them all.
Harper – everyone knows the situation is not all men, no one thinks every man is a rapist or sexual assaulter, but statistically it’s enough to be scared, people are afraid of dying in a car accident, but not all cars are going to crash, and as a woman you’re more likely to die at the hands of a man then a car, so I think it’s perfectly justified to protect yourself, cause these bad men prey on the naive and vulnerable.
Brent – I think that the meaning behind the hashtag is correct in the sense that it isn’t all men but the fact that people feel the need to bring it up almost shows guilt. it shows that they care more about their reputation than the safety of women and that is disgusting.
What are your thoughts on victim blaming?
James – I don’t agree with blaming the victim for the actions that took place
Daniel – people who victim blame are just straight up pieces of shit. Nothing, *nothing* could possibly make the victim at fault. “They were wearing a short skirt” and? They don’t dress for you. Fuck right off.
Eliza – In my opinion, the process of victim blaming is fucked. The statement of ’she is asking for it’ makes me sick to my stomach as thinking about a woman as an object because she is wearing certain clothing.
Avis – Victim blaming is horrible. Someone has gone through something absolutely mortifying and people have the audacity blame them for what happened to them. All I can think about is “Haven’t they gone through enough?”
Andrew – Very simply, it’s one of the things which lead to court cases being dropped. No woman is wearing a skirt with the intention to get raped that night. She could be wearing a mini bikini with the Pornhub logo on, you do not touch that woman unless she explicitly says it’s okay.
Teresa – Victim blaming is awful. No one would ask for the trauma and PTSD that those actions lead to. No one would ask for the judgment received after people find out. No one would ask for that feeling of helplessness and disgust. Victims often blame themselves after going through that, why should you add to that.
Jason – What happens cannot be excused, and you should never blame the victim for what happened. People should be able to wear whatever they want and not be told that their outfit choice makes them a victim.
Ryan – Victim Blaming is fucking disgusting. You wouldn’t blame the seller at a store if an armed robbery takes place, it’s no different from any other crime. support is what’s required after a crime.
Betty – it’s awful in any circumstance
Amelia – Blaming women is absolutely ridiculous. The only people that can be blamed for rape are rapists.
Jeffree – Stupid, no one asks for it it’s stupid how people think people can ask for it
Ana – It’s terrible because it makes the victim feel worse about the subject and like they aren’t valid.
Harper – it’s never the victim’s fault, ever, this is a traumatic event they’ve been through and to belittle that in any way it’s such an awful thing to do
Brent – victim blaming is disgusting- the person that commits the crime is the only one at fault
Do you think it’s in the best interest of the woman to report the assault or not? Why?
James – Yes, I do so the person in question is delt with, assuming the report for assault was genuine
Daniel – I personally think women should report their assault but I know it isn’t that easy. I think their claims should be acknowledged, respected, taken extremely seriously and investigated and the assaulter should be punished severely. Whatever makes them the most comfortable is what’s best for them.
Eliza – Certain women that have experienced sexual assault don’t feel comfortable to share with loved ones, family or friends, let alone the police.
Avis – Although as a society we are getting “better”, I still believe it’s really unsafe for women to talk about these things and come out about them. There will always be a person telling them it’s their own fault or giving them grief about the situation. It sucks. However, there are a lot of people out there now to help women and back them up. So maybe a better world isn’t so far away?
Bailey – It would be but again, people think they’re fake or just brush off it off so I don’t think it would always work
Andrew – It depends, in an ideal world, all rapes would get reported, all crimes would be convicted, but sadly that’s not how the world works. If you have enough evidence, go for it 100%, if not just for you then do it for others. If you think it will harm your mental health, then don’t do it. It sometimes ends up with guys thinking they can get away with it, but you should to anything you can to try ensuring that you get justice.
Teresa – It often depends on the situation.
Jason – I think that women should know that they can report it and have something come of it, but with the way it is handled currently, reporting it to the authorities is something that is entirely up to them. It needs to be addressed differently because not enough comes of it.
Ryan – I wish it was in the best interest of a woman to report an assault but often can lead to far greater backlash. But I personally think the first step toward changes in action for every voice that speaks out another may gain the confidence to do so and the clear increase in reports will require change from the police and greater intervention and prevention would take place as a result
Betty – if women reported it as much as it happens then it will open a lot of people’s eyes and help to progress a more efficient way of prosecuting and maybe even preventing
Amelia – you would also be protecting other women by having dangerous people taken off of the streets. However, going through the process of police interviews and trials and experiencing almost a guaranteed degree of victim blaming would be incredibly taxing on one’s mental health, having to relive awful experiences would be terribly traumatic.
Jeffree – I would rather they report it because they could get more assistance, but I don’t know about how much assistance there is for victims
Ana – I think it depends on the woman feels, if she feels that she can deal with reporting it or not.
Harper – as things are currently, i think it’s always the best idea to report, but that doesn’t mean it’s at the women’s best interest.
Brent – whether it be reporting it or telling someone you trust i think it will often be in their best interest not to keep it to themselves. while reporting it has a large chance of not resulting in any convictions, not reporting means there is no chance at all for justice.
Is there anything else at all you want to add?
Daniel – people should just behave with basic decency. It’s really not hard. People who do assault or rape are lowlifes who can’t be bothered to stop and think. They have no empathy and I barely consider them people to be honest.
Eliza – just a bit of advice… From a personal experience I have had, do whatever you want to do with the information that you have. Whether that is reporting it to the police, keeping it between you and your friends or telling no one. Don’t feel like you are obligated to tell anyone whatever the situation.
Avis – To conclude everything I have said, the world sucks, if time, but maybe there’s hope for us yet?
Andrew – To any guys with female friends out there: try being with them as much as possible, not because men need to protect women but because it’s far less likely and no one will hurt them or try anything. If you’re considering it: think about it as if it was your daughter, sister, or mother that this was happening to and if you’re a girl, support other girls, don’t gang up on them. And the educate your sons movement is a great idea – something which my opinion has changed on over the past month.
Teresa – The issue will continue unless someone does something. Whether it’s changing the curriculum to teach the impacts that actions can have or changing the process for convictions. No matter what it is, something needs to be changed.
Jeffree – More support is needed to make people more comfortable coming forward with confidence to report an issue instead of hiding it from people
Harper – I just want to say I hope people don’t let this be another trend that dies out in a week cause it’s not popular to talk about it anymore, because that happens too much
What questions do you have? Who for?
Daniel – what can I do as a man to make women as stress free as possible whilst going about my day-to-day life?
Andrew – For most guys: how hard is it to be a decent human being? That’s more rhetorical but, it counts.
Teresa – for any person who has ever raped or assaulted anyone. Why? What compelled you to put a person through that?
Harper – to men who say not all men, why are you so desperate to make yourself seem so good? cause to most women it makes you seem way worse than better.
Brent – I would love to know how women feel, I have had conversations with family members about their opinions and they are as expected but a range of views would be interesting.
First of all, thank you again to everyone who helped me to write that. I know that it wasn’t easy for all of you, but you all did it and it really means so much and it was interesting to hear everyone’s take on this issue.
Thank you so much for reading this incredibly long article, I really hope that it has opened your eyes and that this is a topic which will continue to be spoken about until change finally happens permanently. Similar to the BLM movement, how many more innocent people have to die until we realise we need to make a change? Hopefully no more, but until that day comes, I’ll be here shouting from the rooftops until I go hoarse.
This is one of the hardest articles I have ever had to write, but I honestly feel so much better now that I have done it. I’ve also put so much work into it, even if it doesn’t seem like it, but thank you so much for reading. Please comment your opinions because I would really love to hear them.
Stay safe, stay kind, viva le resistance baby!! (we’re bringing that back), I love you all,
Something a little bit different for you lovely lot today!
As you all know, I have really dark hair, as in natural black hair.
my natural hair colour
If I ever wanted to dye my hair as a kid, I quite simply couldn’t. Whilst all my friends could get cute wash in wash out colours, I had to stick with my dull black hair.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love my hair. I have so many people tell me that they love it, and I do too, I just desperately wanted a change.
Since lockdown started, I’ve been ready to do something drastic, and I finally decided to dye my hair. I really wanted to dye it a funky colour, but I needed to start with bleaching it.
Now, I was way too scared to go the whole way, so I decided to instead to ombre it. I thought this would work as a good gradual change, and I’m honestly really happy with the results.
The original plan was to dye it pink, but as you will soon see, that wasn’t totally plausible so we changed our minds!
This is the journey of me dying my black hair for the first time ever.
DISCLAIMER: I am not and in no way a hairdresser. this is not at all a tutorial, this is simply me explaining my ✨journey✨ to all of you beautiful people. If you actually want to dye your hair, make sure you research, complete the patch test, and follow instructions. Stay safe!
This is the bleach I decided on! It wasn’t my first choice, but my first choice was sold out and this had some really great reviews so I decided to just go for it.
After reading up on how to get an ombre and watching countless tutorials, I decided that I needed to split up my hair into small chunks and then apply dye below the elastic band. So… I did just that.
you can see in this photo thatI have all the staples needed. The gloves, the old t-shirt (green is not my colour at all…), even the instructionsand the mix!
After that, I got super distracted by the little pot/container the little gloves came in; it looked so cute!
look at it!!!it’s just so small and cute and compact!
finally, I was ready.
As I did not at all trust myself with bleach or dye at all because I am super duper clumsy and things, I decided that the smartest move would be to let my parents do this part for me, and I must say, my Dad has a hidden talent for dying hair, he does it really well and evenly!
Done with the dye!
After that I had to wait for about half an hour, which was very boring and very uncomfortable. Luckily, I had my phone, so at least I had something to do! I then washed it out and added the conditioner, having to wait another 10 minutes for that to work. Finally I washed it off! I was so excited to see my new blonde locks but… it didn’t really go to plan…
you can see it… just…
Although I loved it at first, I was disappointed with the fact you can’t really see it that well. It was a good start, but I wanted more…
So, a month later, I tried again. This time with the original bleach I had in mind.
round two boys!!
I went through the exact same process, following the instructions and everything, I could hardly wait, and I must say, the results are incredible…
the waiting game…
Finally, after impatiently waiting, I washed out my hair and… look! It’s not all black anymore!!
!!!
I was so happy! Each time I wash it it gets slightly brighter too, alongside my happiness.
All in all, I am super happy with my choices, decisions and everything. My hair still feels pretty healthy which is great and I love it!
Have you ever died your hair before? What happened? Let me know! I’m nosy 👀
Happy International Women’s Day! The day which celebrates equality and women in general.
It’s not just IWD this 8th of March, no no, it’s also Commonwealth Day, the day in England which we get to start going back to school, and National Napping Day. Whichever one is most important to you personally, I think we can all agree that this Monday is one to celebrate.
This year International Women’s Day campaign theme is #ChooseToChallenge. The way to show your support is simply to strike the Choose to Challenge Pose and post it to social media! This way people will know that you are supporting inclusivity and equality.
Since I didn’t want to take the photo myself, I instead decided to challenge myself and draw myself doing the pose. This took quite some time I’ll be honest with you, but I am pretty happy with the end result and I hope that you can all see that it’s important that we choose to challenge gender bias, sexist talk and general inequality between men and women.
If you want to know anything else about International Women’s Day, go ahead and click here and I will see you next time!!
I started this blog in September 2019. Even though a lot has changed since then, my blog has been the biggest constant in my life.
Through all the fake friends, rumours, partners, homework, grades, exams, sexism and inequality, this blog has been there for me. It’s here to help me rant and rave and yell. It’s my way of getting my voice heard in this world.
At the times I wanted to give up, I came onto my blog and it always helped to give me hope.
Now, I’m at 100 posts – that’s a lot. Even though I’m not a big fan of all my articles, I’d never delete them or change them for the world. They show my own personal development, opinions and growth overall.
I started this blog as a 15 year old who hated what was happening to the world. As I continue this blog, I have discovered that whilst I still hate some of what’s happening in the world, I am also grateful for so much of it. From the crazy friends I have, to the best family I have, to the random things which I cannot give up, I think I am so much better than I once was.
I started this blog to share my anger, as an outlet, somewhere to yell and scream. I’m now here, spreading my message of hope. It does get better, and I am so incredibly happy that I decided to stick it out to see how far I’ve come.
I started off with the only people reading were my family and some very close friends. But, as I’ve developed alongside my blog, I find that I have readers from all around the world, each of them reading what I have to say, over 100 different people, most of whom I don’t know from Adam, tuning in to hear what little old me has to say. It’s insane.
This whole thing is so crazy to me, but I am not going to be giving it up any time soon. I may have started this to prove the negative nay-sayers wrong, but I’ve continued it to prove that I’ve got this, that there is still a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how painfully long that tunnel is.
thank you, for giving me this platform and letting me post all my random things here, I love you all xxx
and to all those who thought I couldn’t:
I’m going to achieve even greater things, just you wait.
Totally Tatiana 