10 Things Which Make Me Really Happy

Hi there and welcome to day one of my 30 day writing challenge! Day one is a very sweet one: ten things that make me really happy. I like this because it doesn’t just make me happy, it makes me really happy.

I thought about this for a while, and I think, finally, I have a complete list of what makes me really happy, so much so that I smiled so much while writing this.

1. Dancing with my little brother I say this to everyone I speak to: I love my little brother with my whole heart. In particular I love dancing with him. We have already recreated Blurred Lines, Shake It Off and Starships but we are currently learning Beyoncé’s iconic Single Ladies. It’s so fun just messing around and having a little boogie woogie with my little baby brother.
2. Singing and performing Slightly similar to number one, but I love to perform and sing. I play on my ukulele and I feel infinite. I love transforming myself into another person, getting into their mindset and walking a mile in their shoes. It’s one of the best ways I can switch off my busy brain which is even more chock-a-block than the London Underground at 5pm!
3. Writing my blog is the best creative outlet I have ever had. I have a platform, I can spread my message of equality while staying true to yourself, and I love the feeling I get when someone follows my blog or likes one of my posts (hint hint) because it shows me that all the effort I put into this wild website does benefit at least one person, for whatever reason. I cannot explain enough how much I love my blog, it is my baby and I love my baby.
4. Messing around with my friends I definitely have the greatest group of friends in the history of the world, no doubt about it. They always make me laugh – even if I really shouldn’t. When I’m with them, I feel like I can take on the world. I smile so much when I’m with them and not a moment goes by when at least one of us isn’t giggling about something stupid or…
5. Cards Against Humanity. Wow! What a smooth transition into number five! CAH is the game that really exposes you to your friends and whoever wins is the funniest of the week. We have started a new tradition where every Friday we’ll meet up and play together. We get super competitive and we end up laughing over the most ridiculous stuff (my friend who shall remain nameless, went into hysterics because a card simply said Kale.) and we turn aggressive and choose to personally attack every single person in the group one by one. All in all, a fun game for all the family! (That was a joke, I’d rather look at a strangers feet than play CAH with my family).
6. Going to London. London is my favourite place in the whole wide world. I love the West End, the museums, art galleries, shops, the whole shabang. The atmosphere makes me feel so… alive and some of my favourite memories were made in London. One day, I’ll live there, and that thought makes me so happy and contented that I feel there is hope left.
7. Recreating Musicals in my room. Actually, not just musicals, music videos too. Some songs are such bangers that you have to dramatically sing along. My personal favourites are: Look What You Made Me Do, Bad Guy, I Think He Knows, She’s So Lovely, Everyday I Love You Less and Less and The Man (both Taylor Swift and The Killers). They get me so pumped and hyped and I always love singing Don’t Lose Ur Head, History of Wrong Guys and Sexy. You can bet I kick that door down like there’s no tomorrow while sashaying out with the sound of Gwen Stefani blasting from my speaker.
8. Art. I love art. One of my dream dates from when I was younger was going to an art gallery in London (you can see the link between these), and not much has changed. I love recreating artwork and looking at it. I just find it so fascinating that even with my microscopic attention span I can’t help but stop and stare.
9. When I make my parents cry with laughter. When I was about 11 or 12, I first watched Jack Whitehall and Russell Howard doing stand up comedy. After that, I went through a small phase of wanting to do stand up myself. I’d still love to do that now, but realistically, I know I’m not that funny but, hey, a girl can dream so dream I will! However, I feel like my confidence sky rockets whenever I say something which makes my parents burst out in a genuine fit of laughter. I love it because it shows me that I can be funny and that I say and do things which interest others to become active listeners in the story of my life.
10. That feeling when you wake up on a Saturday, just before noon, rays of sun shining through your curtains. Birds chirping, you can hear your family – those you love with your whole heart – laughing and chatting downstairs. In that moment I feel as though the world is my oyster and it’s times like those that I realise how truly blessed I am to be alive, I pushed through whenever the goings got tough and that happened a lot. This time last year I would never have imagined this is where I’d be now, but I wouldn’t change a bit of it. It’s all shaped me into the person that stands before me in the mirror today and she’s ready for anything life throws at her, because life throws a lot at her. She’s a damsel, she’s in distress, she can handle this herself, have a nice day.

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becoming tatiana.

When I began this blog, I created a character of sorts. Her name was Tatiana and she was everything I wanted to be in life and more.

A sarcastic voice of reason, Tati was an outspoken girl in a man’s world. She wasn’t simply an alter ego to me, she was the person that I was afraid of being all those years.

I was a very shy person, constantly worried about what people thought of me and how I was portrayed in this big wide world. That changed when I started this blog. Tati was confident, bubbly, overall a teenage girl who appeared to be completely at peace with herself. As time progressed, I began transforming into this person I’d always dreamed of being. I was relaxed, didn’t really care what people would say about me – and trust me, they said a lot. I wasn’t just transforming in real life, I was transforming here to. I became very honest with my readers, explaining to them what had happened in my past and how it shaped me to be who I am today. Totally Tatiana wasn’t just a creative outlet anymore, it was a place I could go, a safe haven where I felt understood and not judged.

I’ve began writing about anything and everything. I’m not doing this for the “greater good”, I’m doing this for me, because I am Tatiana. I act like a queen because I am a queen. I’m so happy that this blog has helped different people, but it has helped me too.

I’m doing better than I ever was, the nightmares and PTSD are practically non-existent, my meds are working super well, I don’t need therapy as much any more, I feel safe and secure and overall content with how everything has turned out.

This time last year I was a hot mess, this year, I’m still a hot mess, but I own that shit now. I’m Tatiana and I am strong and powerful and I have finally become at peace with myself.

The world’s given me some pretty bad situations, but I keep on fighting and rising higher. Bring it on.

I’ll see you at the top. T xx