my 2020 thank you’s

I like to count my blessings at this time of year, because I’m lucky for a lot of things and grateful for everything in my life, as rubbish as it feels at times. If you read my 2019 thank you, then any of my other posts, you’ll know that a lot has changed this year. From the obvious, to the slightly more personal which I still don’t really feel comfortable talking about yet, a lot has happened. As shit as it’s been, I stand by the fact that I am a bloody warrior. But, even though I’m strong, even strong warriors need help at times. And this article is just to simply say thank you to those who raise me up whenever I need it. I’m 5″6 regularly, but when I’m with this lot, I swear I could be 10 feet tall. So, here’s my annual gratitude post! Love you all, Tati.

First and foremost, the person who I care about more than anyone else, my little baby brother. He’s not exactly a baby, he’s 10, but he will forever be my baby. This year has been hard on him too, and he deserves more credit than I give him. He’s super duper active so staying inside has been a pain in the ass for him. But, he’s overcome it alongside me, through Just Dance, Beetlejuice and just starting every day on the right side of bed, he’s my little hero. He’s got a wicked sense of humour too – I’m proud to say he gets it from me! (my parents on the other hand… not as proud when he comes out with a slightly dark joke… sorry guys…!)

Second up, my saving grace throughout lockdown: my friends. These little shits were my rocks and my word what great rocks they were! We hung out almost everyday in the summer (you know who you are), we called everyday from March to May, and some of you, sixth form has made us super duper close, as much as you hate to admit it! All my friends are the sweetest, most supportive people I have ever known. They are all so funny, caring and fiercely loyal. I can’t get over how lucky I am that so many of them live close by and I can just pop over whenever I want to! All of you are perfect and you made me see that before I can let anyone else into my life romantically, I need to let myself in first. Even though it took each of them a lot of yelling, hinting, and just general “DUDE GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!”-ing, I finally listened to them and I can happily say my mental health is the best it’s ever been, from eating regularly and (relatively) healthily, to avoiding self-destructive habits which clouded my judgement almost all the time, to just accepting the fact that in myself, I am a decent person who just wants to get better even though I mess up at times. Through their love and encouragement, I’ve successfully managed to let myself into my own life, thinking about what I need, being selfish to protect myself, and even let in someone else without destroying my self-worth!

That’s a smooth transition into the next person I want to thank: my boyfriend. He’s the stupidest, smartest person I have ever met and I love it. He always cheers me up without even realising and he puts up with all of my crazy ways, just like how I put up with his. He’s driven and ready for life, so we both get on like too hyper-active peas in a pod. Plus, I’ve known him since year seven, we may have not properly spoken until late year eleven, but it’s all worked out in my favour, because I feel like I finally have a chance of a good relationship which is super duper exciting for me. He’s a good egg 🙂

A slightly more lighthearted one before I get deep and meaningful again, Miss Taylor Swift! I talk about her a hell of a lot, and that’s what you need to expect here, this blog is 50% my life and the other 50% a Swift fanpage. I feel she saved 2020 with her releases of not one but two albums: Folklore and Evermore! Taylor Swift is the perfect being, change my mind.

Okay, now my Tay-Tay moment is over, I want to say thank you to my parents! Since lockdown started, my Mum and I have slowly begun to turn into the same person, and I’m honestly not mad about it! She’s the one woman I look up to more than Taylor Swift in my life and I love her to bits. Of course, I can’t be grateful for my Mum without mentioning the other 50% of my DNA – my Dad! I won’t lie, it’s been a rocky road this year, but I’m proud to say we’ve come out better and stronger than ever! From sing-alongs (or just ruining songs), to coming up with strange catchphrases, to a strange chaotic trip to IKEA, my Dad and I are now extremely close! I love him and he gives the best hugs ever. No debate.

Next on both the family tree and the thank you list, my Grandparents! This lockdown has definitely been the toughest for them, but they seldom complain! From helping me with blog articles, to our weekly family quiz, to them all sending me chaotic memes with both make me laugh and concern me largely, I love them to bits! It’s been hard not getting to see them, but if it keeps them safe, I am happy to continue to run away screaming when my Grandad comes up to me (true story – I’m so sorry Grandad!!)

Finally, a slightly more unexpected one: the – to be quite frank – the dickheads of my 2020. Even though you were each total shit bags (and they were big shit bags), you have each been a part of my character development so cheers. You’ve turned me into who I am now, and I kind of love it so I’m embracing you and putting you out of my mind forever and always, you’re welcome.

That’s all! Slightly different than last years, but I do love this mini tradition! If you celebrate it, I hope you have a lovely Christmas, if not have an amazing December!

Love and socially distanced hugs,

Tati xoxo

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Five Blessings

I can already tell you right now that this article is going to be super cringe and corny. In order to make myself still appear “cool” and “edgy” – two words you would probably never actually associate with me – I have added a few memes just to kind of balance the cringe out with “oh damn, she’s kind of funny”. In all seriousness though, every single thing I’m about to talk about is a complete blessing in my life and I am insanely grateful for every-single-thing I have listed here.

1. My Mum and Dad
2. My Friends
3. My Brother
4. Peanut Butter
5. My blog

1. My Mum and Dad

an accurate recreation of the hell I put my Mum through on the daily

If there is anyone who has always had my back, no matter what, it’s my parents. They’ve believed me since day one, making sure I’d be able to reach my dreams no matter what. They’re a shoulder to cry on, the best people to joke around with and, are just all around great people. They’re the reason I’m still here fighting today and the reason I have a peculiar sense of humour and, what I hold closest to my heart, they are the ones who showed me that I can do anything I want in this world. Thank you for making me feel completely fearless, you helped me at my highest highs and my lowest lows and I feel blessed to have you two crazies as my Mum and Dad.

2. Peanut Butter

Due to the fact I may or may not be tearing up over number one (I’m emotional, okay, now hush), I’ve decided to go down a slightly more light-hearted route and tell you about my one and only true love: peanut butter. When I say I love peanut butter, I don’t think you truly understand. When I was younger, I despised the stuff. I can’t really remember why but I know I hated it. That was until the summer of 2017. It sounds really sad that I remember the exact time and place, but it was the year I went to Disneyland, so I remember most of the things that happened on that trip. However, the most important thing that happened (this is debatable) was that I tried peanut butter for the first time in years… and I loved it. Ever since then, peanut butter has been there for me more than any friends or partners. Man, I love the stuff and I am blessed with it.

3. My Friends

If there’s anyone I know will have my back, it’s my friends. They put up with every single one of my insane ideas, schemes and impulse decisions. They’re like my babysitters who are almost as bad as me. Whenever we’re together, not one thing goes unsaid, we share it all and we’re not mad about it. I trust them with my life and they’re always so supportive, cheering me on with my idiotic ideas, while steering me away from my stupider ones. Each one of them has a heart of gold and I hold them all dearly to my heart, no matter how much we (play)fight.

4. My Brother

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There is not a single person in this entire universe who I want to protect more than my not-so-little baby brother. He may almost be 10, but in my mind, he’s still 3 years old. He’s one of the purest people I know and he always tries protecting me. Of course, we may not always see eye-to-eye, but that’s normal and I will forever love my small child, who I have taught all my greatest tricks to.

5. My Blog

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Even though I’m almost positive I’ve said this to death now, my blog is one of the greatest blessings in my life. It makes me feel important, as though I have a stage and that I may be able to make a change in the world. I know this is all super unlikely, but as I always say, I’m just a teen with a dream, ready to change the world at any moment.

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Be grateful for the little things.

Thank You.

If you read my post about 2019, you’ll know this year was insane.  I lost a few people but gained so many more, I overcame things I never thought I’d be able to, and all in all, I am a bloody warrior now who doesn’t care what anyone thinks.  Of course, I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wasn’t for the people I want to thank right now, and that’s why I’m here.  I always hope you know how much I care about you but if you don’t, I hope after you read this you understand how much I love each and every one of you.

First up, I want to say the biggest thank you to my family.  My Bother aged nine and a bit, and my Mum and my Dad aged… 40 something.  I always say it to my friends, but I rarely say it to them so I’m going to say it now.  I have the most amazing parents ever.  They’re so supportive and kind and they would do anything for me.  They’ve taught me so much, ever since I was younger and I hope that if I ever have kids, I’ll raise them like you raised me.  My Dad doesn’t mind taking me on late night jaunts where we’ll go out at crazy o’clock and I’ll take photos of the night life while my Mum is okay with staying up and talking to me because I don’t want to sleep because I can’t always deal with the nightmares.  Long story short, my parents are now nocturnal because of me and never complain.  I’m so lucky to have amazing parents and the cherry on top of the cake is my little brother.  As siblings do, he may get on my nerves but more often than not he is the best brother I could ask for.  He’s the funniest, smartest, most deserving brother I could ever ask for and I hope he knows how much I love him.

Secondly, my two friends who have been here for me since the start.  We have the loved Thumper and my Big Brother who we’ll call Sam.  Thumper is the first person I told about being assaulted and ever since that day, he’s supported me so much.  He’s fought my battles when I was unable to, been there to pick me up when I’ve given up, and all in all, everyone needs a Thumper in their life – someone who is always willing to lend a helping hand and is more than happy for you to turn up at their house unannounced and will cheer you up to no end.  (Also, Thumper’s Mum is an angel and is like a second mother so thanks to her as well.)  Sam is always there to distract.  He’s let me call him out of the blue who knows how many times and just allows me to scream and yell about how much I hate this thing or how much this person has hurt me.  He’s there with his dog walks and he’s more than happy to come over to my house in the evening and we’ll go on walks and try not to get lost.  All in all, Thumper and Sam are two of the constant things in my life and I am so lucky to have them supporting me with every crazy idea that comes out.

Next, my Boyfriend.  We may have only been going out for two months, but he knows me better than people I’ve known my whole life.  He puts up with me when I am at my highest of highs and when I’m at my lowest of lows.  He’s the best person to turn to when I’m not feeling my best and he always cheers me up.  He’s funny, strong, smart and has an air of “calm” about him whenever I need it most.  He’s also my gossip buddy and keeps me up to date on all the craziness that’s happening.  Honestly, I am so lucky to have him and if you’re reading this – I love you.

Also, totally worth mentioning, my whole friendship group.  In total there’s about 10 of us who sit in the year 11 area at lunch and it’s safe to say that there’s never a dull moment when we’re around.  No matter how low I’m feeling, these guys will always manage to make me smile, laugh and just cheer me up.  Whether it’s because we’re doing karate without our legs, making a jacuzzi out of chairs, refusing to sit on the chairs and just… Squatting, showing everyone our friends new son – a cactus, screaming song lyrics or just having some nearly give someone else concussion because he threw a shoe and it hit his head, there’s never a dull moment and I feel so blessed to have a friendship group which likes me for me.